Cognates Incognito

I know I know I know, you ALLLLL have been dying to hear about the latest news from the illustrious life that is mine. Well, if you must know, I have been working like a dog, having recently picked up a dizzying amount of new classes. And aside from the self-pity that I instigate on my own (that's me, a self-starter!) for not having every hour to sit and relax, the new income will hopefully quiet my poor soul.

In the meantime, I have taken notice of some odd false cognates that are dangerously used in appropriate contexts. Here are a list of my faves so far:

1. Estoy constipado IS NOT I am constipated. 
I get it, its like a metaphor. There is mucus poo in your nose from which you find no relief. However, unless constipation season exists, I find it highly unlikely that so many students and teachers alike should be so blocked up at the same time. Actually, the thought of a constipation virus is frightening. So boys and girls, remember, estoy constipado= I have a cold.

2. El me molesta! IS NOT He is molesting me! 
This is actually a grave accusation to make against someone. Somebody who is molesting you ought to be sent to jail! issued a restraining order! called a perverted pig!  This is not to be taken lightly!But wait, what is that, ohhhh you mean he keeps taking your pencils? I guess that could be traumatizing. But when you say, el me molesta, you probably just want to keep it PG and say, he is bothering me.

3. Estoy embarazada IS NOT I am embarrassed.
So you're having a good time, making some jokes with some Spanish friends and then you pull out estoy embarazada all of a sudden and now its gotten all serious. Whats the big deal? Why do people look concerned and keep touching your belly? You just said you're pregnant. Ooops! Silly Americans! Abort wrong usage of the false cognate!

Til something interesting occurs, 'ta luego!